After seven days, three tweets and one photo, Babyliss replied with:

@cjb4g08 Hi Chris! Would you be able to DM us your email address and we can past this onto Customer Service to get in contact with you?

That was it. I was stunned. They seemed to have completely overlooked the severity of the situation! Seven days worth of ginger fluff now hung from my face, following me around wherever I went. Acquaintances were beginning to ask questions. Meeting new people was unthinkable. Could they not see I was in need of urgent assistance?!

But this is Britain.

Hi! Thanks very much for your reply. Of course! My email address is cbilko@hotmail.com. Do you know when I can expect a response?

And I heard nothing for seven days. But I knew they'd be busy. So over the next week, I gave them as much assistance as I could,  keeping them constantly in the loop with all the latest developments:

Beard update: Day 8. I'm now more bearded than ever before. I hope the good people at @BaBylissUK reply re my broken beard trimmer soon!

@BaBylissUK got your msg re my broken beard trimmer! It has now been 11 days of growth (and 9 of ridicule!) so please keep me updated!

Beard update: day 13. I am now a bearded man. @BaBylissUK I wonder, have there been any updates re my broken beard trimmer just yet?


Day 13 was yesterday. Earlier today (Day 14) I got a direct email from customer services. It seemed they were eager to converse by methods other than Twitter...